Tonight's Episode Of 'ECW On Sci Fi' Is In The Books

The lowdown from Uncasville, Connecticut's Mohegan Sun Arena:

- Jonathan Coachman explained his continued quest to investigate the identity of Mr. McMahon's illegitimate child, then introduced ECW's new GM, Armando (he's dropped the Alejandro, because it would take away from the seriousness of his new role) Estrada. Estrada presided over CM Punk and John Morrison's 'SummerSlan' contract signing. No physical contact, which sucks, because this segment coulda used something to kill the monotony. After the pleasantries, Estrada informed both men of their respective opponents for tonight. Morrison's was The Boogeyman. Punk's was Big-Daddy-V. How convenient.

- BDV (accompanied by Matt Striker) defeated Punk - countout. Punk (on the apron) took a shoulderblock from BDV (in the ring), which drove Punk into the announcer's table and prompted the decision. Punk pretty much took a three-or-four-minute beating, so I can't really complain.

- According to the video package I just saw, Boogeyman's a little weird.

- Estrada had sent for Tommy Dreamer, who wanted the winner of the ECW title match at 'SummerSlam.' Estrada thought Dreamer was lazy, so he gave Dreamer sixty-seconds to get to the ring, or lose his job. On the way, Dreamer was distracted by Nunzio, Stevie Richards, Extreme Exposé and Coachman. Dreamer even injured his leg, running into someone's cart, but made it to the ring. Luckily, BDV was still there, to administer an awesome ass-kicking, so this made for good TV. BDV even beat the hair off of Dreamer's head. Well, maybe it was already like that, but still. Elbowdrop, pin.

- Balls Mahoney wanted to ask Kelly Kelly on a date, but he was interrupted by The Miz, Layla and Brooke. Miz thinks he's hotter than Balls. Kelly was then unwillingly ushered away by her crew. Whatever.

- Richards scored another fluke win over Kevin Thorn. Thorn had finally earned a victory (spinebuster, pin, boring), but after the bout, continued the attack, so the ref reversed the decision.

- Coachman was talking with Elijah Burke, who seemed to be indicating he could be McMahon's child.

- Non-title: Boogeyman defeated Morrison - DQ. Both guys actually worked really hard (although it wasn't a pretty match, and Morrison again overshot a corkscrew moonsault). I just didn't care (Boogey's gimmick sucks, and Morrison's Goldust imitation isn't much better), but the fans seemed to, so they must've been doing something right. Anyway, the finish made things worse, with Morrison shoving the ref, prompting the decision. Morrison avoided a post-match worming.

It had its moments, but this didn't really do anything for me.