Tonight's Episode Of 'ECW On Sci Fi' Is In The Books

The lowdown from South Carolina's Colonial Center:

- Jesus, another new theme for this show?!

- Armando Estrada "surprised" all of us with tonight's 'Extreme-Rules Match.' Doesn't anyone visit WWE's website?

- Big-Daddy-V (accompanied by Matt Striker) defeated Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer didn't take near the legit punishment I thought he would (and that's a good thing), before taking a Samoan drop through a table and being pinned. BDV, of course, didn't bump or sell for a thing

- Speaking of punishment, Mr. McMahon and Jonathan Coachman have arrived.

- CM Punk got his own video segment.

- McMahon and Coachman are back to looking for McMahon's illegitimate son. They made up for cutting Balls Mahoney out of 'Saturday Night's Main Event.'

- Mahoney defeated Elijah Burke. I have no idea what was going on in the crowd, but it didn't have a thing to do with the match. Burke gave his towel to the ref, which was supposed to serve as a distraction, but the ref was back in time to see Burke wrap Mahoney's leg around the post (which isn't even grounds for a disqualification). Okay?... I really used to dig Burke, you know, but they split up the New Breed and don't do shit with him (case in point), so now he's officially entered the "I don't care" stage. Burke missed a charge into the corner, allowing Mahoney to score with a schoolboy and pin.

- John Morrison also got a video segment.

- The Miz and Extreme Exposé ran into Mahoney and were extremely (pardon the pun) irritating to me. Kelly Kelly winked at Mahoney. She musta had something in her eye.

- Kevin Thorn was jumped by Stevie Richards, but it didn't last long, as they were broken up by a bunch of old, fat guys.

- Pink can't be McMahon's son, because he's straightedged. Punk nearly talked himself into a beating, but luckily for Punk, Coachman was in the room to save his goofy ass.

- Punk & The Boogeyman defeated Morrison & Miz (accompanied by EE). Kelly sure looked happy to be with the people who won't stop insulting her crush. Must be a multilayered technique of acting, with which I am not yet familiar. This went on too long for my taste, although did solidify my belief Morrison is better off (even with the world's shittiest partner) in a tag team, as he's more creative and interesting to watch. More weird chants from the crowd. Morrison came in on a blind tag, hit Punk with whatever he's calling his neckbreaker, then scored the pin (which, for business, was definitely the right finish). Shave off the first ten or twelve minutes, and this would've actually been a good match.

An awesome show (must've been airing somewhere, but this sure wasn't it)!