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Monday, January 12, 2009

The Gist Of It - Tonight's Episode Of 'WWE Monday Night Raw'

Live, from Sioux City, Iowa's Tyson Events Center (for the first time in nearly two-years, which, despite the weather, should've helped attendance):

- JBL and "Sad Sack" Shawn Michaels arrived to the building, where "employer" reminded "employee" of his station.

- Speaking of sacks, Stephanie McMahon (and her now-presentable body) tried putting over her father. Chris Jericho, however, decided to interrupt, because, in his mind, Vince McMahon, in seven-days, will put an end to Steph's reign of terror. Somehow, Mike Adamle's name was mentioned, and Steph was smart enough to blame her brother for that one. Next week, John Cena and JBL will sign their 'Royal Rumble' contract. Jericho said he wasn't going to wrestle, or do anything else Steph told him, so, she fired his ass. Yeah, that'll stick.

Damn, I wish RAW wasn't on, so that I could listen to more of Veltpunch's 'Killer Smile.'

- During the break, Jericho was even escorted out of the building and everything.

- Rey Mysterio defeated The Miz (new Rumble entrant). I didn't pay attention to Rey's T-shirt, and I'm apparently lucky. John Morrison (new Rumble entrant) was said to be absent, because of injuries sustained on Friday. '619,' top-rope splash, pin. Mike Knox, once again, perpetuated a post-match attack on Rey, who managed to make his own save. Bor-ing. Next week, Rey vs. Mike. Bor-ing.

- Candice "Aging At The Speed Of Light" Michelle tried to talk to CM Punk, but he was too focused on his music, and his upcoming shot at the Intercontinental title, to notice. God, I hate him!

- IC title: William Regal defeated Punk - DQ. Hi, Layla! Another short, basic match, ending with Punk accidentally catching Regal with a low blow, prompting the decision.

- Mickie James, talking to Cody Rhodes, was nervous, because of the snow. The nWo ... I mean, Manu and Sim Snuka, warned Rhodes, because they're out to get Randy Orton, and Rhodes is either with them or against them. They've also brought another second-generation star for backup. Someone's going to be outsmarted.

- Todd Grisham approached Regal and Layla. Regal thought he was through with Punk, but Stephanie had other plans. Next week, a rematch, and it's a no-disqualification bout. Damn, Regal's probably going to lose his belt and the girl to a goof!

- "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, in case you've been living under a rock, is going into the Hall of Fame. Wonder who's inducting him?

- Michaels don't need no JBL in his corner, son!

- Orton (with Rhodes) defeated Kane (new Rumble entrant). As Kane leapt from the top rope, Orton hit a dropkick and scored a pin. Kane's shoulder was up, but the referee (Scott Armstrong) missed it, which appeared to be the planned finish. Kane chased after Armstrong, allowing Manu, Rhodes, Snuka, and Ted DiBiase to surround Orton. Of course, this ended with DiBiase, Orton, and Rhodes destroying their former partners and being cheered for it. Orton may just have enough charisma to pull this off. Somehow, DH Smith's going to figure into this, probably as a teammate of Orton and company, because, if he's paired with those other guys, it's career-suicide.

- Grisham spoke to Cena, who seems to like Michaels.

- Kelly Kelly & Melina and Beth Phoenix & Jillian Hall battled to a no-contest. Damnit, where's Santino?! Before the bell sounded, Rosa Mendes (posing as a member of Melina's paparazzi) was able to jump Melina, allowing Beth and Jillian to brutalize their opposition.

- Orton was proud of DiBiase and Rhodes, who have also been entered into the Rumble, although only one person can win it.

- If I correctly understood this, and I may not have (because there should be room for all of them), Cryme Tyme, Goldust, Jamie Noble, and Dolph Ziggler wanted a spot in the Rumble, but it was give to Santino. YAY, SANTINO, SON!

- Non-title: Michaels (with JBL) defeated Cena. Cena and Michaels did engage in a pre-match handshake. Michaels took what I'd estimate to be a nine-foot backdrop. The final minutes were especially impressive, with the crowd getting into the trading of signature moves, counters, and near falls. The finish saw JBL attempt to trip Cena, distracting the champ long enough for "HBK" to hit 'Sweet Chin Music,' then score the pin. After the match, Michaels simply left the ring and JBL simply stood over a fallen Cena. I thought this was supposed to be some sort of two-pronged attack? Even if I'm mistaken, wouldn't JBL want to attack his enemy, in the hopes of weakening him for the Rumble? I mean, what was the point of even being at ringside?