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Thank You, Axl Rotten (And R.I.P.)

Friday, May 2, 2008

Showtime Allstar Wrestling - Episode 40

Courtesy of Larry Goodman:

Showtime Allstar Wrestling
Airing April 12, 2008 in Nashville on WNPX 28 (the ION Network affiliate)

SAW dedicated this show to Sara Lee.

LAST WEEK ON SAW…Rob Roy McCoy “threw down the shillelagh” with a challenge to the SAW Television Champion, Damian Adams. Then, with McCoy watching from the ramp, Adams pinned fellow babyface T. J. Harley with a jackknife. McCoy said phooey to their postmatch show of respect…Paul Adams gave his beleaguered A Team a pep talk…The A Team attacked the Boogie Woogie Boy. Arrick Andrews tried to make the save, but A Team beat down the both of them until Indian Nation hit the ring. A Team ran. Doing his God awful Jimmy Valiant imitation, Boogie challenged the A Team. “Don’t sing it. Bring it.”

The SAW broadcast team of Michael St. John and Jack Johnson previewed the upcoming hour.

(1) The Tennessee Violence Authority (Hammerjack & Matt Dillinger with Paul Adams) defeated Indian Nation (Lennox Lightfoot & Indian Outlaw) to win the SAW tag titles in 7:27. Fans were whopping it up as the Indians chopped and pounded TVA early on. Johnson found the sledgehammer and pool cue in TVA’s corner a bit worrisome. Dillinger appeared to get the best of Outlaw in an exchange of forearms. They cut away from the spot where Dillinger took over. MSJ said Adams was more intense than usual because his job with TVA might be on the line. Brief heat on Outlaw. Flying tomahawk chop and the tag to Lighfoot, who hit the ring with a pair of dropsaults. TVA tried to isolate him but he managed to make the tag. Ricky Bell got bumped. Outlaw went one on two and took the TVA down with a bulldog/lariat combo. Cover on Dilllinger but no ref to count. Nation decked Hammerjack with the Rock ‘n Roll double dropkick. The Indians cornered Dillinger. Lightfoot then hit a Blockbuster on Dillinger, who was mounted on Outlaw’s shoulders. Outlaw covered again. 1…2…and Adams pulled the ref out. While Outlaw posted Dillinger on the outside, Lightfoot was on the inside working over Hammerjack. Adams clubbed Outlaw from behind. When Outlaw turned his attention towards Adams, Dillinger slid the sledgehammer to Hammerjack. Lightfoot tried for the Four Wind Tomahawk Chop and Hammerjack caught him in the throat with the sledge. 1..2..3…new champions.

Adams did a victory lap around the ring waving his towel. As the TVA continued to celebrate, Lightfoot was laying in the ring gagging.

(2) Damian Adams beat “Playboy” Scott Hayes to retain the SAW Television Title in 5:07. St. John excused himself to check on Lightfoot. Johnson brought up Hayes striking resemblance to Jerry Lawler and his athletic credentials (minor league baseball catcher). Damian was using side headlock takeovers to control the action. Damian went for one where he climbed the ropes for some extra juice and Hayes dropped him with a back suplex. Hayes worked on Damian’s back. MSJ returned. He said Lightfoot had suffered neck bruises and was responding to medical treatment. With the kids in the crowd chanting his name, Damian stared his comeback by rolling out from under a pair of elbow drops– a double axe handle off the ropes set up the bicycle kick. Hayes ducked and went for a piledriver. Damian fought it off, and it was lights out with the bicycle kick (called a snap superkick by St. John).

(3) Chris Eckos beat Big Rig Bully in 3:39. MSJ immediately mentioned Bully’s losing streak. Johnson said Bully was wearing his favorite Blackie Fargo ring jacket. Big Rig took Jim Cornette style flying bumps for Eckos’ chops and capped it off with a backward bump over the top. Back inside, Bully took over with crisp athletic offense. He also did that stupid stuff where he refuses to make the pin. Eckos made a comeback that left Bully on the deck. Eckos started to climb to the top. Big Rig cut Eckos off and put him in a variation of the airplane spin. Bully spun himself silly. Eckos sunset flipped out of it for the three count.

A video flashed the names of Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy…and now…Frank Malone…coming soon to SAW. This was obviously the same guy who did a job as J-5 a few weeks back.

T. J. Harley was being interviewed by MSJ. Harley was the happy-go-lucky all around nice guy here, giving props to Adams and saying it was an honor to lose to him last week. Out came McCoy, who said Harley was representative of what was wrong with America. “You need to get more serious about what you’re trying to achieve here, sunshine. You need to look at the real McCoy and get a killer instinct.” McCoy’s accent is THICK. Harley asked MSJ to translate. Commissioner Freddie Morton said enough jawjacking. Let’s settle it in the ring.

(4) Rob Roy McCoy beat T. J. Harley via submission with the crossface chickenwing in 6:54. St. John had done some research and learned that McCoy was trained by John Riley in the UK, where he a very successful run before coming to the US. Johnson said he didn’t get that Scottish channel on his cable package. Meanwhile, Harley’s loosey goosey slacker style was working wonders and McCoy was pissed. Johnson questioned Harley’s ability to focus. Harley left himself wide open in the break and McCoy took advantage. McCoy was really aggressive here. Gave Harley no surcease as Gordon Solie used to say. Harley rallied with the pillar to post treatment on McCoy. It took three lariats to put him down. Harley hit a Yakuza kick but McCoy got a foot over the ropes. McCoy answered with a hangman neckbreaker and locked in his finisher. Harley fought his way up to his feet before going down and out for good.

McCoy reapplied the hold on Harley, who was already out cold. The refs couldn’t pry him off. McCoy didn’t let loose until matchmaker Reno Riggins got in his face. While the officials were tending to Harley, McCoy made his way to the desk.

That is what all you fat, toothless cretins stand for. Look at him. Lying there. LIFELESS. If his career is permanently over because of my actions, so be it. Damian Adams, take heed because you are next, sunshine.

Back from commercial, “the baddest deal on 18 wheels” and the self-proclaimed biggest star in SAW, Big Rig Bully approached Johnson and MSJ, referring to them as useless and unnecessary. “You haven’t won a match,” said MSJ. Bully said he was tired of getting ripped off and changes were on the way for 2008. He blamed his troubles on the promoters, the referees and the horse face inbred hillbilles. Bully showed off his feature article in Pilot Challenge (a trucker mag). Bully said he hoped Harley was crippled and Johnson had a car wreck. MSJ was appalled.

(5) Arrick Andrews beat Rick Santel (with Paul Adams) via DQ in 4:03.MSJ said he wanted to see Andrews beat the daylights out of Santel, and he got his wish. Santel bumped and sold for Andrews bigtime. Andrews hit a nice huracanrana at two minutes in and almost got the pin with a small package. A knee to the breadbasket caught Andrews off guard. MSJ said Adams blood pressure must be 225 over 150. Adams choked Andrews with the towel. A spin-around bulldog by Andrews was the cue for the TVA to saunter into the ring. Ricky Bell called for the bell.

The Boogie Woogie Boy joined forces with Andrews, but it was 2 against 3, so the Dream Team were taking a beating. The TVA were about to give Boogie a stuff piledriver when Outlaw ran down the ramp. He was in handcuffs with black tape over his mouth to where he looked like a Native American version Hannibal Lecter. St. John thought it was Mason Raige but Johnson corrected him. Outlaw used handcuff thrusts to the throats of the A Team to clear the ring.

There’s no telling who they tied up there in the back. Sick people tie people up, Michael St. John. These people, they’ve got chains. No doubt they’ve got whips too.

THE GOOD: Overall, a much better show than the first episode to air on ION. TVA/Indian Nation was the best tag match since I started watching SAW in December, mainly because Nation are now more than holding up their end of the deal. The Doomsday Blockbuster was no doubt the most spectacular aerial move in SAW over that time span. Nation came out of a losing effort stronger than they usually have by winning. It was booked so they had the match won twice before getting screwed out of the titles. They appear to be moving in the direction of a weapons stip match. The pull the ref out spot has been way overdone in the major league promotions, but not here and Adams’ timing was perfect. Lightfoot sold the sledge huge, and they made it a serious deal with St. John going to check on him…I really like McCoy’s character. SAW needed a top heel apart from Adams’ stable. Good finish. The cold-blooded manner in which he dealt with Harley made for an effective segment…Big Rig’s promo was fun. I didn’t much care for it the first time I saw it, and then really liked it on a repeat viewing…Santel’s selling for Andrews was top notch.

THE BAD: Big Rig’s losing streak is beyond old. He’s already lost to all the top guys, so now he’s losing to the jobbers. After losing for 6 months, any sane person would be taking a win anyway they could get it rather than pulling their opponent up at two…Somebody went way overboard with the fog machine with all that smoke on the hard camera shots…The Malone character would be a lot more credible if he hadn’t been on TV as a nondescript job guy.

A LITTLE OF EACH: Damian Adams. I’m a big fan of his ringwork, but having a babyface champ that doesn’t talk is rough. He did one promo in Spanish a while back and hasn’t spoken a word since winning the title….St. John’s announcing. His energy level was something else, but I still have this crazy idea that the play-by-play guy should be able to call the major moves correctly. Then, there was the gaffe of mistaking Raige for Outlaw. Whatever happened to Raige anyway?...I like the idea of the alignment of the Indians and Andrews with Boogie to get the edge on A Team, but there's a tiresome sameness to all the beatdowns on Boogie.