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Friday, August 1, 2008

Showtime Allstar Wrestling TV - Episode 54

Courtesy of Larry Goodman:

Airing July 19, 2008 in Nashville, Tn on Comcast 74
Taped July 11, 2008 in Millersville, Tn at the Saw Mill

Our fearless announce team of Michael St. John and Reno Riggins opened the show at ringside. They showed footage of Rob Roy McCoy submitting Damian Adams on last week’s show. Riggins said they hoped to have info on the extent of Damian Adams’s injuries. Also this week, the return of the vacationing A-Team, Chris Michaels in singles action against Adam Armor - “a main event anywhere in the country,” says the always hyperbolic Reno - and the International Heavyweight Champion, Kid Kash.

It’s Showtime! And SAW starts now~!

1 -- RICK SANTEL (with Paul Adams & Hammerjack & Matt Dillinger) vs. “STYLIN” SHANE EDEN

MSJ noted that A-Team all had great tans. Dillinger was channeling Jimmy Buffett. Eden’s electric dance routine was short-circuited by a blindside attack from Santel, who proceeded to beat him into oblivion for the next couple of minutes. Dillinger came to the booth and demanded a title shot for Santel, so “The Adams Family” could have all the gold. Eden hit a Russian leg sweep out of nowhere right into a break dancing leg drop for a two count. Eden struck the crane pose. Santel looked amused. He was ready for Eden’s kick and countered right in the Santel Slam.

WINNER: Rick Santel at 2:50 with the Santel Slam. Fine for what it was – another step in solidifying Santel as a legit challenger for the title. Eden took Santel’s finisher quite nicely.

MSJ was at ringside with the Adams Family AKA The A-Team. Paul claimed they had been vacationing in the Bahamas. Hammerjack showed MSJ footage of a “Bahama mama” on his cell phone. “That gives new meaning to riding the porpoises,” Paul said. Paul asked St. John if SAW had given Dream Team a proper send off while they were away. Negative. Paul said A-Team were not the heartless individual the people made them out to be, and to prove it, they had a solid gold pen (MSJ said it looked like a Bic) and a Rolex (a Vulex according to Dillinger) for Dream Team. Commissioner Freddie Morton said he had something for A-Team and put the Tennessee Violence Authority in today’s main event vs. Tribal Nation with the SAW tag titles on the line.

St. John was at ringside with Kash. MSJ informed the viewers that the winner of the fan vote for the title shot, Cassidy Reilly, had broke his ankle while he was out in Hollywood working on a new wrestling video game (Legends of Wrestling). Kash wasn’t buying it. Said it was fear. Said he beat Damian down to the point he was in a boat, hiding under a sheet, trying to get back into Puerto Rico. Kash issued another challenge to the world, and zeroed in on “chubby” (Riggins). Chris Cane showed up. “Shut up, Frodo. You don’t come out here and interrupt my interview time, you little punk.” Cane tried to babyface himself with the crowd and failed miserably. Cane said if he couldn’t get respect from the fans, maybe he could earn it from Kash. What ever gave him that idea? Kash slapped Cane’s face and told him to get in the ring.

2 -- SAW International Heavyweight Championship Match: KID KASH (c) vs. CHRIS CANE

Kash shot in with a double leg and pummeled Cane from a side mount. Cane grabbed the ropes to force a break. Cane fired up and caught the champion with a crisp arm drag. Kash raked the eyes and threw a fit. He legit ripped the shirt off a fan that was giving him crap. Back inside, Kash mauled and tortured Cane, adding to his misery with a stomp to the groin. Cane fired back with another flurry of punches. Kash stomped his nuts again. Kash continued the sadistic beating with a series of crossface forearms. Cane was bleeding from the mouth. Reno said he wasn’t for Cane, so much as he was rooting against Kash. Cane rallied with a last ditch flurry – running knee, swinging neckbreaker, cover for a near fall. Cane tried for a tornado DDT. Kash countered with a low blow and put Cane away with the brainbuster.

Kash went nuts on the fans. He tried to tear a second shirt off that same guy and ripped up the sign held by one of the fans in the hardcore section. MSJ just handed the mic over to Kash, who ran down all of the title contenders. He ripped the belt out of St. John’s hands and got back in the ring to challenge t-shirt guy again.

Winner: Kash retains the title in 6:37 with the brainbuster. Their best laid plans went awry with the injury to Riley. Kash gave Cane a surprising amount of offense, too much for a guy that hasn’t come close to beating anybody. The people didn’t buy Cane one bit as Babyface for a Night, but I thought the match still worked because it only made the fans despise Kash and all his sleaziness even more. You had the champion, supposedly the superior wrestling, using nothing but lazy, gutter tactics against the smallest guy on the roster.

3 -- CHRIS MICHAELS (with Fallon) vs. ADAM ARMOR

Riggins brought up Michaels using Lexi Pillman’s boot on Chase Stevens last week after Fallon refused to offer hers up. MSJ apologized to the viewers for the mistreatment Fallon suffered at the hands of Michaels after the match. Riggins said Commissioner Morton was looking into the matter. Meanwhile, Armor was outwrestling Michaels. Leapfrog-dropdown-dropkick ala A. J. Style by Armor for a near fall. At 3 minutes in, Michaels punched Armor in the face and started to pound him. Michaels cut him off the comeback with a big spinebuster slam. As Michaels wore Armor down with a camel clutch, MSJ hinted the Fallon’s new body are was a rite of passage into Casey’s cult. Michaels continued to work the low back. Armor traded big shots with Michaels but ended up getting beaten down in the corner. Michaels used a short arm clothesline but no hook of the leg on the pin attempt. Armor sent Michaels spinning with an enzuigiri and it was both men down. Comeback time. Downward spiral for a near fall by Armor. Michaels answered with a neckbreaker and signaled it was over. Michaels paused to scold Fallon for not paying attention. Armor rolled Michaels up and almost got him. Armor flew off the middle rope with a sunset flip attempt, but Michaels sat down him and grabbed a handful of tights.

Michaels admonished Fallon after the match. She was giving him some lip as they headed up the ramp.

WINNER: Michaels at 7:54 via pinfall using the tights. Given enough time, they built this into a good little match. Armor makes an appealing underdog.

We saw a black & white newsreel clip from World War II with “White Rabbit” playing in the background – it was time for our weekly glimpse into the warped mind of Marc Anthony. Cut to the shoreline of some God forsaken body of water. The footage is still black & white. Anthony’s helmeted head popped out of the water. He addressed a toy army encamped on a concrete pier about the element of surprise.

And again gentleman, I’m going to lead by example. And show you how to endure this pain. For we’re not dealing with little kids anymore, these kids know the game, and they know how to play it. Just not as good as me and Ronnie P. You see, gentleman, this could be a weapon used by the enemy.

Still in the water, Anthony removed his helmet and whacked himself in the forehead with some kind of metal plate.

But it has no effect on me, as it will not on you. Because we are prepared, gentleman, we are prepared for anything and everything that comes our way. They can strap us, gentleman, they can strap us. They can hit us, they can slap us, they can burn us alive! But they’ll never, EVER, succeed in defeating what’s coming.

Anthony did all of the above. Well, not the part about burning alive. I think he’s saving that for later. Anthony put his helmet back on and barked toward the heavens.

MSJ and Riggins introduced footage of an incident that occurred as St. John and Riggins were doing their pre-show sound check. Security called for Riggins to come outside. The camera followed Riggins out into the parking lot where a brawl between Shawn Shultz and TJ Harley was in progress. The ended up on the hood a car with Harley pounding Shultz’s face with stiff forearms as he yelled at him for wrecking his career. Shultz kneed Harley in the groin. BLEEP. Shultz pulled Harley up onto the roof of the car and spiked him with a DDT. A white sports car pulled into the parking lot with Miss Worthington at the wheel. Shultz jumped in and they hauled ass out of there. The camera zoomed in for a close up of Harley’s crumpled carcass still in la la land.

Cut to Shultz and Worthington in the interview area with an appalled MSJ. St. John couldn’t believe that Shultz would stoop so low. “See Michael St. Jimmie, I would do anything to keep this (pointing at Worthington).” Shultz asked Worthington if he got to keep daddy’s money now that Harley was out of the picture for good. Worthington said Shultz could have anything he wanted with the emphasis on “anything.” Shultz said he wanted to go spend some of daddy’s money because he needed some new knee pads. “Yeah, me too,” said Worthington. Shultz overacted to make sure the viewers caught the line.

4 – SAW Tag Team Championship Match: TENNESSEE VIOLENCE AUTHORITY (Hammerjack & Matt Dillinger with Paul Adams) (c) vs. TRIBAL NATION (Lennox Lightfoot & Indian Outlaw)

Reno said he didn’t think the Indians could beat TVA, but on any given day…The Indians dominated to where Reno said Dillinger was probably wishing he was back in Margaritaville. The highlights were Lightfoot’s cartwheel basement dropkick, and Outlaw elevating Lightfoot into a gorilla press splash. Dillinger ducked Lightfoot’s springboard crossbody and made a diving tag. Hammerjack stomped the bejeezus out of Lightfoot. He hit a sitout slam for a two count. For several minutes, TVA cut the ring in half and worked Lightfoot over. Lightfoot finally caught Dillinger with a jawbreaker and hot-tagged Outlaw, who hit the ring with tomahawk chops. After Outlaw laid TVA out with a double clothesline, the Indians set up the Totem Pole, but Adams blocked it by grabbing Lightfoot’s leg. TVA then had Lightfoot setup for their finisher when a man in a hooded sweatshirt knocked Dillinger off the top rope. Hammerjack dropped what he was doing to look at the guy in the hood. “It’s Arrick Andrews! It’s Arrick Andrews!” (cut to a close up of Andrews with a wry grin on his face). Lightfoot rolled up Hammerjack for the pin. Celebration time. As they went off the air, the heels were staring at Andrews with shock and awe.

WINNERS: Tribal Nation in 6:58 to become two time SAW Tag Team Champions. This standard format tag match was a good outing for Tribal Nation. Lightfoot looked very sharp, as did Dillinger, who did most of the work for TVA. The finish put Andrews instantly back in the thick of things.

Closing Thoughts: A good show, just not a compelling as most of the recent episodes. It was subject to a last minute rewrite due to the departure of “Boogie Woogie Boy” Gary Valiant from the promotion. As thing turned out, he and Miss Boogie really got buried on their way out by that restaurant vignette a few weeks back. The parking lot brawl was straight out of Memphis wrestling. That and Anthony’s insanity were the best things about the show. When it comes to building anticipation for a new guy coming into the promotion, I haven’t seen anything as effective as the Anthony vignettes since the territory days. WWE seems to have no concept of stuff like this. Andrews costing TVA the titles was proper payback. The explanation for Andrews’ reinstatement better be good. The High Society storyline isn’t doing much for me, but their program with Stevens and Armor is providing the best wrestling on the show. The women on this show have the looks, but acting ability is another story altogether. Worthington was way better last week. Her delivery here was just passable. Shultz was over the top, and the kneepad line was out of place for Worthington’s character and what has been a serious angle, at least from Harley’s end. It’s one of those little things that undermine suspension of disbelief, and make you wonder why a rich bitch from Belle Meade Boulevard would be hanging around with pro wrestlers to begin with.