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Monday, June 30, 2008

The Gist Of It: Tonight's Episode Of 'WWE Monday Night RAW'

From Oklahoma City's Ford Center:

- Shane McMahon's prepared statement ranked right up there with one of Dana White's, consisting of him refusing to release any information on his father's condition and asking everyone to keep him in their thoughts.

- Speaking of saying nothing, Jim Ross went on and on, before being interrupted by Edge, Curt Hawkins, and Zack Ryder. Well, so much for the draft. Edge explained how useless JR is, and had Hawkins and Ryder escort JR from the ring. Nothing wrong with that, but then he just rambled, finally finishing with how, unless it was a draft show, you wouldn't be seeing him on Mondays. Yeah, right. As Edge was leaving, he was attacked and destroyed by Batista. CM Punk immediately cashed in his 'Money in the Bank' contract, hit Edge with a 'GTS,' and scored the pin. Gee, even though anything can happen in WWE, it took only one-week's time for each brand to end back up with a World title. What are the odds?

- Non-title: Mickie James defeated Jillian Hall. 'Mick Kick,' pin.

- Continuing the trend-of-the-evening, Rey Mysterio went to the ring and really had nothing to say. Santino Marella interrupted him, because "Mastrio" is on the cover of WWE Magazine, while he is not. Needless to say, Marella ended up taking a '619.' Jerry Lawler said it was the first one delivered on RAW. I'm not a history buff or rocket ship, but I somehow doubt that. I suppose it's better, though, than Michael Cole telling us how great Mysterio is, as if because Mysterio's "always been on SmackDown," we might not have had the chance to see for ourselves.

- Todd Grisham spoke to a happy Punk. A stone-faced John Bradshaw Layfield questioned Punk's win and asked for a title shot. Punk obliged his request.

- John Cena put over Triple H (smart man), himself, and Punk. He doesn't seem to like JBL, though. Cena then campaigned to weasel his way JBL's spot. Shouldn't this have been Batista's role? I mean, the World title's important to him, right? This brought out JBL, who somehow had the foresight to hire his own security staff to help him gang up on Cena and forcefully remove him from the building. Okay? ... Don't worry, I'm sure Cena will be back in time to get involved in the main event, steal Punk's heat, and cost JBL the championship.

- Non-title: Ted "ROW" DiBiase & Cody Rhodes (with their really keen new theme) defeated WLW's Steve Anthony & Darren Wade (Darin Waid). Rhodes hit Wade with a 'DDT,' then scored the pin. The crowd couldn't have possibly cared less. Rhodes actually cut a decent promo, explaining how he is too good to pay dues. I might actually be able to get into a heel Rhodes. "ROW" then cut one. The crowd still couldn't have possibly cared less.

- Paul Burchill walked away from Katie Lea, allowing Jamie Noble to hit on her. Katie talked Noble into challenging Kane. Needless to say, this didn't go so well for Noble, who was chased to the ring and chokeslammed on Cole and Lawler's announce table.

- Intercontinental title: Kofi Kingston defeated Chris Jericho (with that guy) - DQ. Kingston was dominated, then, during a pin attempt, grabbed Y2J's tights. When Y2J responded in kind, the referee called for the bell. Seems, to me, like that should've been a warning. After the match, Y2J dug his fingers into Kofi's eyes. If you're keeping score, Kingston needs Shawn Michaels' help to capture the IC title, can't even cheat to win the rematch (which features a lousy finish, no less), and also takes a post-match drubbing. Yep, that kind of booking will get the crowds behind the new guy. Y2J challenged Shawn Michaels to meet him at the Great American Bash (which will be accepted).

- Edge bullied and slapped his comrades, blaming them for his loss of the World title.

- World title: Punk defeated JBL (with his security staff). Sure enough, Cena (joined by Cryme Tyme) managed to distract JBL, leading to a 'GTS,' and Punk scoring the pin. The show abruptly ended, as Cena, Punk and CT continued to brawl with JBL's security.